Social skills are skills a social animal uses to interact and communicate with others to assist status in the social structure and other motivations. Social rules and social relations are created, communicated, and changed in verbal and nonverbal ways creating social complexity useful in identifying outsiders and intelligent breeding partners. The process of learning these skills is called socialization.

Examples

• Verbal communication
  • Small talk or conversation
  • Sharing jokes
  • Sharing and discussing ideas (politics, religion, sports, music, fashion, and movies are all common topics.)
  • Teaching or learning
• Nonverbal communication
  • Active listening
  • Body language
• Both verbal and nonverbal
  • Conflict resolution
  • Intercultural relations

Properties of polished social skills

• Basic
  • Verbal
    • Smoothness of delivery (lacks stuttering, awkward pauses, etc.)
    • Intelligible speech (not too loud or soft, avoiding monotone but not dropping off the end of sentences)
    • Using muscle words to help describe ideas in conversation.
    • Variable tone (avoidance of a monotonous tone)
    • Asking open ended questions
  • Non-verbal
    • Active listening
    • Confident stance (standing up straight but not at attention)
    • Relaxed manner (not too tense, not falling asleep)
    • Body language in sync with the verbal message
    • Leaning forward while talking
    • Open stance (not close hands)
    • Touching conversation partner (only where appropriate as this can be misinterpreted)
    • Smile (Not overdoing it)
    • Remembering and using names during the conversation

• Complex
  • Diplomacy is an important skill (disagreements will happen, how one handles them will show one's personality)
  • Ability to feign interest

• Other
  • Treating the conversation partner as their Best Friend

Social ineptitude

Social ineptitude is a lack of social skills. A person who is considered to lack social skills is said to be socially inept. However, the use of the term social ineptitude is widely considered slightly disrespectful. People who have autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders such as autism and Asperger syndrome may have impaired social interaction, and are often described as socially inept. A belief in one's own social ineptitude, either real or imagined, is one of the diagnostic criteria for avoidant personality disorder. Additionally, the criteria for social ineptitude vary from culture to culture. Another word which can mean socially inept is shy, though a shy person can be aware and adhere to social conventions, just as those who are bold can often be socially incompetent.

Social ineptitude may also be simply a part of a person's character. Some believe that social ineptitude should be accommodated, not exterminated.

See also

• Aggression Replacement Training
• Anti-social
• Social anxiety
• Social behavior
• Social cognition
• Social reality
• Social space
• Introversion and extroversion
• Systems intelligence
• Intercultural competence
• Metacommunicative competence

External links and references

• Free Practice GuideProcesses focusing on expanded awareness & people skills.
• Some Facts Psychologists Know About… SOCIAL SKILLS
• Teaching Social Skills
• Encouraging Social Skills in Young Children
• Information on Social Skills for Male College Students
• National Association of School Psychologists on Social Skills
• Speech Therapy and Social Skills resources